Dipping a toe in the water

I know that the first post is always the hardest, but that’s the point of the internal push to write. I know that She approves, that my struggle to find words is in and of itself an offering to Her. The growing pains of the average human are what She delights in, not because She needs pain in any way but because pain is proof of life and struggle.

I was inspired to create this blog when I realized that there is a woeful lack of voices within the pagan community that speak of devotion to the goddess Hela, Queen of Helheim, Lady Death. Not that there are none, simply that those of us bold enough to come forward in devotion are still outnumbered by the other voices, both in and outside of the Northern tradition. I know that I have struggled to find connection at points and to find direction in this new growth. But She whispers to me that this struggle is a good thing, needs to become an act of devotion in the act of writing and that it will allow me to find myself.

I consider myself to be one of the god-touched, not a blessing, not a curse. I have been walking the pagan path for over 10 years now, but have struggled to find a balance with the Deities that have taken root in my life. Hela sings to me most eloquently, brings me to my knees and tears to my eyes. For her I would change nothing of my past, to be able to reach this moment. Odin also whispers to me, not as loudly, hanging in the wings, waiting for me to be strong enough to accept His will. There are also a myriad of other spirits who help me, who would be sorely upset if I forgot to mention them in this roll call.

Hail Lady of Regeneration,

may these white bone words

be an acceptable offering

upon the still silence of your graves.

May I not fold under the blessing of Your lessons but stand without fear.

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2 Comments

  1. Reading this, I now have a better understanding of our conversation and your take. I am still unsure of what you mean by “god-touched” and am wondering if you would elaborate a bit more?

    It’s also nice to find another devotee of a so-called “death deity” or a deity associated, in any form, with death. Though you know of my own falling out with Anubis, I still feel drawn to him. So I encourage and applaud your “coming out,” as it were, as a devotee of Hela.

    1. lcward says:

      To me (and as a reminder, this is individual to each spirit-worker) being god-touched means that the Divine is not just an idea I pray to. She speaks to me pretty consistently, requires of me certain acts and things and taboos. In return I am blessed with certain things. It’s really hard to explain but at it’s core, it means the Gods are very very real in my life.

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