I don’t normally wear my angry feminist hat in public. I have found that it a) can’t change a moron’s mind and b) has more of a backlash from the “f” word than it does good. But I have been noticing a trend within my pagan community and can’t stay silent any longer.
How many of you have a Facebook page? I know, Facebook is a huge waste of time. But we are still addicted and it still has its uses.
Today, I logged on to see this:
This photo had been “liked” by a friend of mine, an educated, liberal, feminist, pagan man. And this isn’t the first time. How about this quote that was under a picture of a female soldier:
While you carry a purse, she carries a 65lb rucksack. While you shop with your girlfriends, she cleans her rifle with her battle buddies. When you wear heels, she wears her combat boots. Instead of the make-up that you wear on your face to make yourself look pretty, she paints her face for camouflage. While you kiss your husband goodbye for the day, she kisses hers goodbye for the year. Don’t forget about the women who serve.
There are a million more I could post, but I won’t. My point here is that this is all sexist. It is!!. Its cloaked in terms of liberalism and feminism and if I were to ever mention to my male friends that they are being sexist, they would be horrified and probably accuse me of being too sensitive.
But these are sexist. They perpetuate the same stereotypes as more archaic forms of sexism. The picture of Thelma? There is the idea of sexual availability, access to even the most asexual women. There is the idea of a man’s ideal body hidden under the “nerdy” exterior. There is the idea of male approved sex available as well, in the idea of “dirty” sex. I am gonna tell you straight out: most forms of porn that involve “dirty” sex also involve female debasement in some way shape or form. Not to say that all “dirty” sex is like this, I’m a huge proponent of BDSM and fetish’s. But the idea offered here is that this woman is available to anyone who asks, at any time.
And there is still the divide of dichotomies: nerdy vs stupid, curvy vs skinny, Madonna vs whore.
As for the quote… really???????????? So there are only two types of women, the ones who shop and carry purses and spend money, and the type who perform traditional male tasks like going off to war? What about the single mom who hasn’t spent money on herself in years? The college student living off of Ramen noodles? The woman trapped in an abusive/arraigned/dead/unhappy relationship? What about every woman who isn’t a part of that image painted? Yes, I am pro-female military. I am a veteran. But I am also pro-women. So if you really want to talk about women in war, lets talk about the rape statistics, the racism in portraying all female military as white and pretty, the harassment, the debasement, the guilt a woman feels when she leaves her children or spouse behind, the fact that lesbians just NOW got the right to kiss their SO’s goodbye and hello in public.
I’m just tired of it. I don’t want to be told what kind of woman to be. I don’t want intelligence linked to how I look or how sexually available I am. I don’t want to be “bad” or “shallow” if I shop or eat food or wear makeup.
I just want it to stop.