In truth, I dont know what possessed me to do it, to pray to her to strip me of everything holding me back, to beg for the next step in growth. Its scary, to be on your knees staring your mortality in the face. Our reality is an illusion. The things we hold dear, the things we cling to, shy away from, the things that scare us and push us and mold us are all a carefully-crafted ego illusion designed to feed our sense of self. The closest thing to truth I have found is the silence of the grave and the web of connection that spins us all. I keep looking.